January 2023
Thank you for your interest. My name is Patrick and I have been doing conflict resolution at the local and global levels for all of my adult life. I could give you a list of important sounding accomplishments, but what I really want you to know is this: I care about people and want to see everyone succeed!
The long-held vision for launching my own consulting and coaching practice has evolved into this: Partners in Change LLC.
If you feel stuck in your career, life or a particular problem plaguing you, please reach out. First step is a simple conversation with me. No charge for that. If we mutually decide that you might benefit from the services of Partners in Change LLC, then I will put together a proposal for you to consider. Then the journey begins.
I will spend future blog posts telling some stories about my own journeys. Hope you continue to check back here or add your name to our e-mail list and receive regular updates (promise not to share your info with others).
February 2023
Just returned from wonderful travels to Indonesia and the Philippines. Since 2015, I have led the Young Southeast Asian Leaders Initiative (YSEALI) on Civic Engagement. This U.S. State Department project brings the best and brightest young people from Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) to University of Nebraska at Omaha and our partners, Arizona State University and Portland State University, for a deep dive into civic engagement and peaceful coexistence. For more on this innovative program, please click on this short YSEALI video.
The recent in-country workshops were an opportunity to reconnect with many amazing young leaders, and to eat some of the, ummm, traditional food of the region like Jollibee in the Philippines. What a joy to live into the lives of these alumni of our program.
One young leader is working to reintegrate former combatants who have now put down their arms against the Philippines government in the southern island of Mindanao. Another is advocating for inclusive policies and practices for deaf people in Indonesia. Another has taken a social entrepreneur path and started a locally sourced coffeeshop and coffee distribution business to provide jobs in his village. I could tell inspiring stories about each and every one of these young leaders.
To accompany these changemakers on their journey is a gift. And accompanying me on this journey to S.E. Asia was my 21-year old daughter. She won a grant from Oberlin College and Conservatory to present at the YSEALI workshops on “Creativity in Leadership” (music is a great testing ground for leadership skills like listening, knowing when your voice should be the loudest or softest in a group, and improvisation). Ilana also studied the gamelan, a traditional Indonesian percussion ensemble. So proud of the incredible young leader Ilana is becoming!
The call to leadership takes family, allies, mentors, friends and even foes. Maybe you too could benefit from a coach or consultant on your leadership journey. Please let me know if you would like to talk.
March 2023
I was honored to be back at University of Oxford facilitating a session on conflict resolution for young British Hindu leaders in the Varchasva program run by the Yog Foundation collaboratively with Faith in Leadership. The program inspires these incredible youth to live fully into their British identity (which is complicated because at one time this meant white) and their Hindu identity (which is complicated by colonial history, anti-Asian sentiment, and the new UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, who is of Indian heritage).
The focus started out on tips for conflict resolution of interpersonal and community disputes. But soon morphed into how to deal with inner conflict, negotiate our multiple identities, and live fully into who we are meant to be. I often find this when training: the session may start out with one theme, but change-up depending on the needs and energy of the group. Actually, that is kind of the story of my life. I start out with one plan but end up adjusting to an unexpected twist and doing something different. Fortunately, I have enough experience and tricks up my sleeve that this is usually pretty seamless to the audience.
The training room we used at University Church of St. Mary the Virgin was above the crypt that dates from 1128 C.E. which is where the original seminarians at what became University of Oxford used to meet. To be in the historic church was amazing and added gravitas to our event. The Vice Vicar, the Reverend Canon Doctor Charlotte Bannister-Parker, hosted us. She is a fascinating leader herself, now writing a book on how the Church of England and other faith traditions should be at the forefront of the environmental justice movement.
The best part of this trip was that I got to see my daughter Leora who is studying contemporary dance at Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance in London. She is wonderfully creative and fun! We spent time with one of my “old” friends, Krish Raval, who is the visionary behind Faith in Leadership, and his daughter Lukshmi. There is a special bond between fathers and daughters!
APRIL 2023
Gurus Come When You Need Them on the Journey
At 97 years old, Lucile (Lucy) Wood has some lived wisdom. “I never thought I’d leave Iowa,” she told me again. “I took a nursing class in Chicago and one of my classmates was in Amarillo, Texas. She invited me to come down and join her. I wasn’t sure. And my parents did not answer whether I should when I asked them. So, then it dawned on me, if I went and I didn’t like it, I could always go back home to Iowa.”
She did not go back. From Amarillo operating room to West Virginia coalminers’ care to desegregating nursing supervisors in Atlanta to writing basic nursing textbooks for University of California at Los Angeles to Oregon Coast clinic to Omaha where she stayed. She has outlived her husband Hi by 20 years but is sure they will meet again someday.
Lucy was a pillar at First United Methodist Church in Omaha. She directed the health ministry when I first started attending in 1999. The church had split over a same-sex wedding. There was a lot of congregational healing needed. Lucy’s ministry was more on the individual level. Healthy living for members of our church and the community beyond.
In her last chapter of her life, Lucy has looked back and seen that it was good. “My time’s coming to an end, but I’ve been truly blessed,” she said. “It’s neat to be as old as I am. I’m alone in my apartment a lot, so I have time to do life review.” Life review is a process she uses to take a journey through the decades. Remembering the turning points, the people who made a difference, and lessons learned along the way. “We’re not smart enough at the beginning to know all the pluses and minuses that will come at the end,” she told me over lunch of meatloaf, gravy and mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetable that I brought to her apartment in Elmwood Tower.
Lucy has a positive but realistic view of humanity. “The majority of people I’ve come across are mostly good folks. However, we all have our defects.”
She went on to tell me that a spiritual turning point was joining the Covenant Community that met every other month for many years at St. Benedict’s Monastery about an hour’s drive outside of Omaha. Those were important times for Lucy to “be away and look within.” Getting out of the daily routine was important for those who took part. Many were clergy. Mostly Methodists. “Before the Covenant Community I would just immediately respond to anything that came along. But after, it taught me to wait, give time to think and pray, then respond. I had not heard of discernment before that. And I expected all these ministers to have all the answers. And they don’t! When you see just their façade, it’s disappointing. But we were all journeying together.”
I told Lucy that she was going to be a chapter in a book I am writing called “Wisdom from a Guru: Lessons from a Life of Listening.” She wondered, “What on Earth have I ever said that should go in your book.” I said that I count her as one of those gurus who has shared with me a lot of wisdom over the years. Then she popped one wiser nugget. “Gurus come when you need them on the journey.”
MAY 2023
I just returned from a wonderful trip to Bali and Bangkok. In Thailand, I hosted a Young Southeast Asian Leaders Initiative (YSEALI) Alumni Summit for 200 people. See this link to a video to learn more on the YSEALI program. The public diplomacy team out of the U.S. Embassy in Thailand was great to work with. Our YSEALI alumni were delighted to be back together. All three goals of the Alumni Summit were met: (1) connect or reconnect with fellow YSEALI alumni, (2) develop professionally through workshops co-facilitated by YSEALI alumni with our program staff from University of Nebraska at Omaha and our partners at Arizona State University, Portland State University, and Kennesaw State University, and (3) spark ongoing collaboration across the ASEAN region. A highlight was having U.S. Ambassador to Thailand, Robert Godec, as our keynote speaker. Love my job!
JUNE 2023
I went back to Bali (I know, lucky me for twice in 2023… so far). This time my wife Aviva came with me. She ended up studying gamelan with the same teacher as our daughter. Aviva had dreamt of learning the gamelan since before we met. Great to help make her dream come true… as she made mine come true when she said “yes” to my proposal. We celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary!
While my wife walked a block from our hotel to the Royal Palace in Ubud to study gamelan with our friend Raka, I worked for a while then wandered to find what adventures awaited.
“Subak Juwuk Manis (Magical Rice Field of Ubud)” read the sign. A narrow passageway beckoned. I wondered, Is the rice magic, the field magic, or is Ubud magic?
I took the trail to find out. The path hugged a creek far below. That trail was precariously perched along the bank that had seen its share of landslides.
Ubud is the cultural capital of Bali, Indonesia. Although signs of wear, tear and tension were often just below the surface of this beautiful land, there was a certain magic to this paradise. As I went back to Bali a second time, I became more aware of the struggles of the local people.
Through our daughter Ilana’s World Percussion professor at Oberlin, she got connected with Raka, who is a master gamelan teacher and the hereditary Prince of Bali. He invited us to Ubud, the heritage village of art and culture set in the middle of the island, an hour or more drive from the famous beaches of Bali. Every morning, Ilana (then Aviva on this second trip) would walk a block to the Royal Palace and sit on Raka’s porch to take lessons on gamelan and learn to play the small traditional string instrument called the rebab. In the afternoons, Raka would take us sightseeing or sit with us for a meal. In the evenings, we watched performances of Raka’s gamelan along with dancers and storytellers.
Raka had inherited property in the Royal Palace where he and his family lived. But he was not a rich man. He was happy to play his music and breed his prized songbirds. He tellingly said, “Those who understand the culture of Bali respect me. But those who are just here to make money don’t.”
Bali is a place that a lot of investors have made money. More buildings. More people. More cars. More money. Raka was skeptical of this so-called development. He saw it happening at a fast rate, creating jobs to service more tourists, but at the expense of the culture of Bali. People there to make a quick buck do not care about the unique eco-system, long history, religion, and the arts and music. Landslides were only the beginnings of natural and cultural erosion.
About a half kilometer along the trail to that Magical Rice Field of Ubud, I found my answer. An abandoned dwelling, repurposed as an art space, had a wall with a magnificently painted woman’s face. Her third eye radiated light. Underneath her was the answer: VIEWER CREATES THE MAGIC.
I wondered about who left this message behind for me to ponder on that first visit. On my second visit, I met the artist. He called himself Santa de Bali. A burnt-out German who had spent over a decade in Bali. He lamented the changes he was seeing. He also seemed to be working out his own suffering by collecting rocks from the creek bed and pounding them, carving them, sanding them into statues, and painting whatever came to him. I asked about his muse. He answered as an artist might, “I don’t know. They just come to me. I must listen.”
Santa de Bali pointed to goosebumps on his tattooed arms when I told him, “Your art is making the world a better place.” He responded, “No one else tells me that. They pass by with their head in their phones, not even noticing. I am still working on the anger I learned from my parents in Bavaria. But I thank you for saying that.”
Maybe that is one lesson in this continuing story of mine. It is listening to whatever moves in me then trying to share a bit of peace in myself and others. I pray the Metta Sutta, which I first learned in 1992 at a Buddhist meditation center in Sri Lanka, as I brush my teeth. And the line that I always repeat is, “May all beings be at ease.”
What I create will determine if ease and magic or anger and suffering manifests. No doubt all at times will surface. I hope the magic, mystery and blessings prevail. Santa’s gift for me was a reminder that it is I, as viewer and liver of this one precious life, who will determine that.
July 2023
Caux, Switzerland has been a special place since I first visited the Initiatives of Change (IofC) International conference center in 1996, the 50th anniversary of Caux as headquarters of the movement. I was a Caux Scholar, the signature conflict transformation program. that year and remember being overwhelmed with the people I was meeting: His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, and Archbishop Franz Konig. The place had a lot of “old timers” in the MRA network who remembered working with Frank Buchman and Peter Howard, the founder and his successor who were leaders in the movement. The following year, I would return to this transformational place as an assistant with the Caux Scholars Program and propose to my wife!
The Caux Forum 2023 brought our global network back together after a pandemic hiatus, plus a lot of new folks, for “Healing the Wounds of the Past” and “Trust and Integrity in Democracy.” I was honored to be elected to the International Council of IofC. The work of grassroots teams across the world inspires me in what sometimes seems like hopeless times. If I am a small part of accompanying them to do this transformational work then what a gift!
August 2023
The BOLD Fellows in Civic Engagement are young leaders of the Balkans. Although the program began in 2020, our first cohort we welcomed in-person to Omaha was in August 2022. That first year, we just had fellows from Bosnia and Herzegovina (BiH). This second year of in-person exchange, we hosted fellows from BiH as well as Serbia and Montenegro.
After departing Caux, I traveled to Sarajevo, Mostar, and Banja Luka, the three biggest cities in BiH each with their own population, culture, and complicated history. In Sarajevo and Banja Luka, BOLD alumni who now work at leading NGOs, hosted my facilitating workshops. Both were on conflict resolution skills, starting with ourselves. I also hosted gatherings for our BOLD alumni in the three big cities which also doubled as welcome events for the incoming fellows.
The impact that these exchange programs have on the lives of young leaders and their communities upon returning home, is transformational. To continue these relationships is even more meaningful as their continued growth is a gift. I even got to ride in a car fast enough to fly away and see the incredible beauty of this country. The wounds of the 1990s war still felt in the intergenerational trauma inherited by the children and grandchildren of those who lived through it. But the beauty of the mountains and rivers and belief of the people made me hope for better as they live and die this way. Legend has it that drinking from the ancient fountain in Sarajevo means I will return someday (maybe sooner than I think).
September 2023
Most of my good qualities come from my parents. I will own the bad qualities for myself. A visit home to Portland and time spent with my loving parents reminded me of the good I’d inherited from them, like this bit of wisdom from my mom.
Joan McNamara has a gift for finding something redeeming in almost everyone. She easily connects with people. After just a phone call, she will know your life story. Then she’ll ask you about some particular detail when she talks to you six months later. She has been known to wear down a salesperson with persistent niceness until they are bending over backwards to make her a special deal, accept a return, or get back to her with further information. I learned much from my mom, but how to win others over with woo is among the most valuable.
She is a passionate advocate for the planet. She and my dad started the first home-based recycling depot in the State of Oregon. During my middle and early high school years, I made some pocket money taking back recycling. I would take out the middle seat of our blue Volkswagen bus and load up with newspapers one week, cans the next, and glass the next. I would pay one of my parents $5 to drive me to the redemption center, ending up with $25 or $30 bucks for myself. In the 1970s, that was big money for a kid like me.
Mom was a psychology major at Willamette University. She met my dad when they both worked in the welfare office in Multnomah County. She taught elementary school when my dad was in graduate school. During the early years of motherhood – which must have seemed a blur with three babies just four years apart – she was a stay-at-home mom. Later she got a job at Bonneville Power Administration and worked her way up the federal government ranks with her smarts, organizational skills, and get-it-done attitude.
I remember when my sisters and I were young adults and were all back home for a time. One of my mom’s friends from work and his wife were over for a meal. He said, “Do you realize how much your mom sacrificed for you kids?” She piped right up in reply. “I never saw it as a sacrifice. In fact, I enjoyed those times as much as the kids did. Talking long walks in the neighborhood and picking up leaves. Laughing or crying together. Playing games and singing hymns together. That was never a sacrifice. That was what I always wanted to do and what our family needed then.”
There are many nuggets of wisdom from my mom. One of my favorites came when we had recently returned from summer camp. Starting in third grade until the end of high school, my sisters and I attended one (or more) United Methodist Church camps each summer. My older sister Kathleen and I were only one year apart in school. We often attended the same camps. This particular summer we had come from Suttle Lake Camp in Central Oregon. My camp sweetheart Martha was over. We sat at the kitchen table reviewing the whole camp experience with my big sister. Mom was cooking and listening in.
We said of one of the guys at our camp, “What a dork!” Then went on to recall all the dorky things this kid did. That’s when my mom chimed in with an unforgettable comment. At the time we laughed so hard. But as the years unfold, we have all come to see the truth in Mom’s wisdom.
“Dorks are some of the nicest people I know,” Mom sincerely said.
Photo Credit: Ray Bidegain
October 2023
Welcomed YSEALI again to Omaha. Love this program!
November 2023
My life changed when I got the offer. I was appointed to serve as Executive Director of the United States-Sri Lanka Fulbright Commission.
I will leave UNO to take up this new position. Running a Fulbright commission in South Asia has been a “dream job” ever since I was a Fulbright-Nehru Senior Scholar in India a dozen years ago. I will soon move to Colombo to start my new position. My wife Aviva will finish her 25th season conducting the Omaha Area Youth Orchestras then sell our house and join me in June. So excited for this next chapter!
December 2023
Last blog entry for a while. The chapter emerging will be all consuming for a time. I do hope to revisit this consulting and coaching practice in time. For now, saying goodbye to our 25 years in Omaha, moving across the world, and this new gig is all consuming. I could not be happier!